For parents who have or are thinking of separating it can be tricky working out contact and timetables. It can also be very emotive for both Mum and Dad as well as confusing for children who may feel they are “in the middle”.
There are many different ways children can stay in contact with the parent they’re not living with after a separation or divorce. Every family is different.
Making arrangements for your children to spend time with their other parent can be difficult and emotionally charged, and there are lots of things to think about.
Types of contact
Child contact arrangements can be different for every family. And the type of contact and routine that you arrange with your child’s other parent may change as your child gets older.
Your child might see their other parent at their home, in a public place, at a relative’s home, at your home or in a contact centre. Many children stay overnight with their other parent regularly. Others see their other parent for shorter periods in the daytime. Some children go to their other parent for long periods during the school holidays and others will have regular weekend visits.
There’s no one right way to do it. What’s important is to find a way that works for your child – and for you and their other parent.
Making arrangements
Agreeing how and when your child will see their other parent often isn’t easy. But it’s an important decision and there are lots of things to think about. It might take time to find an arrangement that works for everyone.
Some parents can work together to make good arrangements, but some need help. Some families find that making a parenting plan helps. This isn’t legally binding, but is a way of thinking through the most important elements of sharing time with your child. You can find out more and download a parenting plan PDF on the CAFCASS website. (They represent children’s interests in family court cases.)
Putting your child first
No matter what’s going on between you and your child’s other parent, it’s important to put your child’s interests first. What’s best for them should be at the heart of your decisions.
Children have a right to a relationship with both their parents (unless this puts their safety or wellbeing at risk). So it’s important to listen to what your child wants, and put their needs at the heart of your decisions.
In some families, the child spends a lot of time and stays overnight with both parents. This is called shared residence or shared care. For this to work well, you and the other parent will need to be able to communicate well about day-to-day issues and be flexible.
What’s best for children?
Where both parents want to be involved in the child’s life and it’s safe for the child, it usually works best when:
Both parents play a role in bringing them up
- Each parent does all they can to make sure their child has a good relationship with their other parent
- Children are clear about arrangements for spending time with each parent, and things don’t change suddenly unless it’s unavoidable
- They’re not exposed to conflict, which is distressing and harmful for them
- Both parents make sure their child stays in touch with important people, like relatives and close family friends
- New partners support the arrangements you’ve made and have a good relationship with your child
- You can communicate well with your child and their other parent, and are focused on what’s in the child’s best interests
Arranging Contact
In some situations, it may not be safe or appropriate for a child to have contact with their other parent, especially where there is violence, abuse, or concerns about their ability to care for the child safely. In these cases, no contact, or contact through phone, email, or video calls, may be the best option.
Sometimes contact can take place under supervision, either with a trusted family member or friend present, or through a supervised contact centre.
If there are concerns about safety or inappropriate behaviour, it is important to seek legal advice. You may need to apply for a Child Arrangements Order through the court to help protect your child and ensure safe arrangements are in place.
How Can Marlborugh Law Help?
Our aim is to prioritise the children and their wellbeing as well as making the arrangements workable for parents. We minimise conflict thus allowing negotiation and good communication to prevail.
The Family Court give recommendations with regards to contact and it is our aim at Marlborough Law to help parents understand and appreciate the implications and effect on children. Although it is not our intention to make Applications in the Family Court for contact we are very experienced in advocacy .
We manage expectations in any Court proceedings and our network of renowned Barristers means we can do the very best for our Clients.
